Bleeding Out: Chapter 30: We All Die And That's Deepressing

(*Alison's POINT OF VIEW*)

"Amy, I'm so sorry. And if there's anything I could possibly do-" I started.

"You're here now, honey. That's all I needed." She hugged me tightly.

"I love you, Amy." I hugged her back.

"I love you too, Ali." She let me go and touched my cheek. She went to Andy as I went to Brock.

"How are you holding up?" I asked him.

"I'm ok." He said.

"How?" I asked, stunned I said it aloud. "It tears me apart to see him like this. I wanted to weap for him."

"You just have to be strong for the ones you love. You're a warrior until they sleep. Then, if you want, you can lock yourself in the bathroom and bawl your eyes out. But once they wake up, even if they wake before you, you are a warrior." Brock said seriously.

"Don't forget to let yourself not be ok too." I gave him a hug. "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie." Brock hugged me back. I let him go just to turn around to see Amy taking to Andy. He hugged her for a minute, kissed her cheek and then stepped back. She took his face in her hands and he nodded with a weak smile. I heard him say he loved her. I just hoped she wasn't crying.


Dressed a lacey black dress, black 3 inch heels, black rose earrings, white owl necklace, BVB ARMY necklace (as always) and a metal feather ring, I walked hand and hand down the rows of pues in the church with Andy. He squeezed my hand. As we sat down I leaned to whisper in his ear.

"You aren't strong for me. You're strong for your mom. Don't hold it in if you can't, my love." He nodded and I kissed his cheek. He put his arm around me, still never letting go of my hand that held his other hand.

"You know what I hate about churches?" Andy smiled, whispering in my ear.

"What?" I asked, giving him a confused look.

"All the getting up and singing." He cracked. It caused me to chuckle and I could see that was what he was aiming for. Andy's parents slid in beside us, Amy sitting next to Andy and Brock sitting next to his wife. I almost felt like I shouldn't be there with them in such a moment but then I realised, I had to be there. I was accepted into the Biersack family.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we are here to celebrate the life of Urban Flanders." The preist annouced, his solem voice ringing through the old church walls. I saw Brock put his hand in Amy's and I realised he was putting on his armour. He was a her warrior, as I was Andy's. So I suited up as well.


There was a lot of crying done on Amy's part. Her warriors, her boys, held her and she calmed down. Amy didn't really speak much for the rest of the day. And as we all watched Andy's grandfather get burried, Andy and I were the last to leave.

"Are you sure?" Brock asked.

"Come on, we can all go home. It's ok." Amy put a hand on her son's shoulder.

"No, no I-I w-want to stay just for a second. I'll see you at home soon, I promise." Andy shook his head. He was so hesitant about leaving his mom, even for a minute or two.

"Ok...we'll see you there then." Brock squeezed both our shoulders.

"I love you, both of you." Amy kissed our cheeks.

"I love you too, Mom." Andy squeezed her hand.

"Love you." I smiled at Amy. Mr. and Mrs. Biersack walked off to the car while Andy and I stood there, looking at the blackness of Grandpa Urban's coffin.

"You put anything in the coffin?" I asked, Andy reaching for my hand.

"Yeah. I, uhm, I put a copy of We Stitch These Wounds in there." Andy nodded.

"He would have loved that." I smiled down on the coffin.

"Yeah?" Andy's voice broke. I looked up at him and he was crying, tears spilling from his eyes rapidly. I squeezed Andy's hand and kissed it.

"Of course he would have." I put my arm around his back and Andy folded me into him. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and then put his chin on my shoulder. "Hey baby?" I asked.

"Yeah." Andy didn't take his eyes off the coffin, he didn't speak above a whisper.

"Maybe, you know, if you wanted to say somethin' to him...I could go walk somewhere. You know, over there. So you can be alone with him."

"Yeah?" It was the only thing I think he could say.

"Yeah." I swollowed down some tears and kissed his cheek, walking off as he reluctantly let go of my hand. I walked around the church for five minutes. I admired the building but really I was about ready to go home, back to Amy's house. I was tired, Andy was tired, and since he was tired he was losing the strength to be a warrior. I felt like him being able to take a break for being a "warrior" was crusial for him though. I lost my aunt when I wasn't even an adult really. I had a lot more questions about belief and couldn't handle it. I didn't know what it felt like to lose someone when you formed your beliefs and actually got even MORE years to spend with someone. If it hurt back then, I wondered if it would have hurt more if I had 19 years with Aunt Nicole. Or even if I had 22 years with her, like Andy did with his grandfather. I was about to make my third lap around the church when Andy caught my arm.

"Ali B." Andy said softly. I didn't hear him, I was still thinking. "Minnie." I still couldn't hear him. "Alison Biersack!"

"Biersack?" That snapped me out of my trance.

"I-uh-opps." He stumbled across his words. I laughed.

"Well, it's got a nice ring to it." I looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I put my hands on his neck.

"That it does." He brought his face an inch above him, showing me the smile I had missed for almost two days.

"And I like it a bit more than Mercer." I concluded.

"Oh do you, now?" He continued to flash me his now-white smile. It's amazing how much quitting smoking helps the pigment of your teeth.

"Mhm." I hummed, flashing a smile right back at him. He kissed my nose and I felt a blush creep onto my face.

"We have a gathering to get to, my love." He kissed my nose again, a happy twinkle in his eyes.

Bleeding Out: Chapter 29: Red-Eye Flight

(*Andy's POINT OF VIEW*)

Alison woke me up at 11 o'clock at night. She pet my head as my eyes slowly opened, revealing my beautiful girlfriend looking down upon me. I could tell she hadn't slept yet. Grandpa's dead. Suddenly, as it always did since two days ago, when I found out he died, my heart grew heavier than my body. It felt like it could tug me down onto the floor.

"Thank you for being here, through all of this, with me." I caressed Ali's cheek with the pad of my thumb. She smiled and cuddled into me.

"No thanks nessicary. I told you I'm here. Always." She kissed my forehead.

"I miss him, Ali. I loved him dearly." I confessed.

"It's never gonna be ok, but it gets better. You don't ever really....heal just stop thinking about it. But there is a time when someone mentions him and you won't wanna cry. It'll be better when we get back home and everyone stops talking about it. I remeber when my Aunt Nicole died in her car crash, everyone talked about it. She was like a mother to me. It fucked with my healing process."

"I'm sure." I nodded.

"Come on, sleepy head. We got an airport to visit." She pet my head once more and then got up.

"I'll drive." I said grabbing our luggage.

"No." She said simply, taking the luggage away from me.

"Ok." I sighed in defeat. I still held onto my bags. I left a note for Matt on the table, knowing he was sleeping.


Thanks for staying behind. I really appriciate it. Take care of Vikas. And thanks for always being there for me in general. I love you, brother.


"Bye Vikas." I whispered to the dog. He came out of his sleep just at the mention of his name and walked over to me. I crouched down and scratched his head for awhile until Ali had my car packed. After she was done, I hugged Vikas for absoutely no reason at all other than him bringing moments of happier times, like christmas, or when he for the first saw me in London when Ali and I finally found each other and went to her house, or even when we went on walks and he got complimented. The dog was an attention whore, or at least that's what twitter tells me. But he's a character and I loved it. So after I was done hugging the animal (and realising I must have been crazy in my time of greiving, because I don't normally look to Vikas, or dogs in general, for comfort) Ali came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my stomach. She kissed the middle of my back and I turned around in her arms. I leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead. I think she was wishing to kiss every ounce of pain away, that, or I think maybe I was hoping she would. Alison helped me a lot though. Even as we walked into the airplane  armed with candy bars and gum, she still held my hand. I don't even know why that helped, it was such a simple gesture, but it made me take comfort in that I'm never alone. I didn't have to go through this alone. I had Alison, Black Veil Brides, Matt, and a billion other people to lean on. I just had to be strong for my parents so they could lean on me as I did for a lot of my childhood. This ONE TIME I needed to be a warrior for them. That was ok.


I didn't sleep on the plane. I didn't cry on the plane. I eat my candybar on the plane. I even had a bite of Ali's candybar. I didn't tweet on the plane. I played on Ali's tumblr though. I didn't text anyone on the plane. I didn't think about record number three. I didn't think about the final week of dates I had cancled because of my grandfather's passing. I didn't think about how much hate I suprisingly wasn't getting. Alison didn't lean on me like she normally did on plane rides. For over an hour, I leaned on HER. I had my head on HER shoulder. I thought about all the good times I spent with my grandfather, every single one I could remeber. I also thought about all the good times I had with Ali, and if I espically liked one I'd move my head up and kiss her cheek, then go back to my comfortable place to rest my head, without a word. I also thought about all the good times I had with my parents. Then, finally, I thought about the Army. I thought about how my friends, family and fans ALL reached out to me to give me their concolances.

"You on twitter?" I asked Alison, it was like I almost whispered it. The plane was nearly empty.

"I-uh-will be in a-yeah." She stumbled across her words. I laughed.

"Can you just...uhm...go on my profile for a second and see what the Army's saying?" I asked.

"Sure." She didn't sound confused but I knew she was. A few minutes later Ali said, "They're mostly talking about your grandfather. Others are just asking you pointless things like the usual, 'when are you coming to the center of the earth?' and that stuff. But it's mostly about Urban."

"Can you read me some?" My voice almost broke. Alison situated herself so that she had me on her leaning back on her and holding my hand while she read me a few of the army's words. They warmed my heart. They kept saying how he was forever immortized in We Stitch These Wounds because he was the guy saying the Outcast (Call To Arms) intro. I remeber he said it over the phone while we were recording. It turned out great. He used to often tease me about royalty checks he was missing out on.

"You are loved." Alison said to me, seriously. She was done reading them, she hadn't finished them all but I had told her thank you and to stop.

"I am loved." And she kissed my forhead, then began to pet my head until the plane landed.

Bleeding Out: Chapter 28: Summer Tragady

(*Alison's POINT OF VIEW*)

Months later, after the EP called My Own Sun was released and Black Veil Brides started working on record number 3, on June 17th (Father's Day) Andy gave me a call. Black Veil Brides were on tour, and they occasionally played with Motely Crue and Slash. They were estatic about going on this tour and I was happy for them aswell.

"Hey baby, what's up?" I greeted Andy happily.

"Ali-" Andy's voice broke. "I...I uhm-" His voice broke again.

"Andy, what's the matter?" I asked, getting serious.

"I need to go home. And-" Andy took in a shakey breath. "And you need to pack your bags for Ohio." His voice sounded raspy.

"Ok. Ok, I'll get packing right now. What's the matter? What happened?" I asked, rushing to our bedroom to pack for me. We finally converted my old bedroom into a guest room again.

Andy took in another shaky breath. "My mom's dad died. grandpa died, Ali." And then I knew he was crying. I knew it deep within me. I could also tell that he wasn't breathing, like I do when I cry.

"I'm so sorry. I am always here. And when you get home, you can brake down right as you walk through the front door. You can wail on the plane. But, right now, you gotta pick up-" I sucked in a breath, wanting to cry for him. My heart broke in two. "And go. I won't move until you walk through the front door. Everything will be taken care of. You don't even need to pack if you don't want to."

"I'm gonna play the show tonight." Andy sniffled. "For him. In memory of him." That caused me to shed a few tears as well.

"He would have loved that." I didn't even sniffle, I didn't want him to know I was tearing up and crying ever so slightly. I was to be strong for him. He needed someone to lean on.

"We'll be on a plane as soon as the show is over." Andy coughed a few times.

"Breathe, Andy." I said and I waited him to take several deep breaths.

"My dad said to be a warrior." Andy said suddenly, after his voice went back to normal.

"Don't get too caught up in that. You be a warrior in front of your mom and your dad. But, in front of the boys, Sammi or a man who just lost his grandfather. You need to greive. Don't get caught up in being a warrior." I said earnestly.

"Ok." Andy took another deep breath. "I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm a warrior. I'm ok."

"I love you so much. It's ok not to be ok. It's ok to feel weird."

"I love you." Andy said, I could feel how much he meant it. "I'll be home soon."

"Bye." I said in one breath.

"Bye." Andy repeated, almost like a zombie.


I heard the front door open and I walked out of the bedroom to see Andy come through the door.

"You know what?" Andy asked me. "I'm going to be completely honest. I'm not ok. I miss him more than...than...AIR. I miss him more than my sanity! My first thought waking up after the plane ride was that he was dead and I'm not ok. I'm not." Andy said loudly, almost angrily. "I'm not ok." Andy's voice broke. I didn't say anything. I didn't have to. Vikas was now dancing at our feet but he suddenly realised no one was paying him attention so he went back to his bed as I ran to Andy. I gripped him in a hug and he burried his face in the crook of my neck. I put a hand on the back of his head and pressed him to me. We stayed like that for a long time, even after Matt came out of his bedroom. Matt just sat down in the kitchen chair, waiting for Andy to be even slightly more ok. No one rushed him. I pet the back of Andy's head and then literally three minutes later, Andy unbound himself from me and I got on my tippy toes to wipe the tears from his cheeks. I only met Urban Flanders once, last Easter. He was so suporitive of Andy and Black Veil Brides. I also took a liking to him and he me. He was the kindest soul on Earth. When I told him I was in a band, he said he'd check us out as soon as possible. He, almost a stranger, was already supportive of me. He supported anything of Andy's, even girlfriends. And over the course of that Easter celebration, I became attached to the kind soul. I found out Urban was the man who said the "Call to Arms" on We Stitch These Wounds. He would forever be immortalised in his grandson's band. I thought it was so sweet, looking back on it, during the time Matt hugged Andy and gave him his condolances.

"Did you pack?" Andy asked.

"Mhm." I nodded.

"Ok, then I'll go pack." Andy said, almost numbly. It was like he was in a trance.

"You sure? I could pack for you." I called to him as he went to our bedroom.

"No, it's ok. I wanna keep myself busy." Andy called to me as I heard him open a drawer.

"He's a wreck." I whispered to Matt.

"I know." Matt whispered back.

"Will you stay here and take care of Vikas and the house?" I asked.

"Of course. I wasn't planning on going to the funeral. I didn't know his grandfather and I feel like it'd be werid if I went. You know?"

"I understand." I squeezed Matt's shoulder. Vikas walked into my boyfriend and I's bedroom. He circled around Andy's legs slowly until Andy pet his head and kissed his snout.

"He'll be ok." I tried to reassure myself. 'He'll be ok." I said as Matt and I continued to stare at Andy.

Bleeding Out: Chapter 27: Acoustic Love

(*Andy's POINT OF VIEW*)

When I woke up the next morning, in bed with my girlfriend...who was naked along with me, I couldn't help but laugh on the inside. I couldn't believe we had sex, on her tour bus, WHILE HER BAND WAS OUT. It was awesome! But, the man in me did not kill the hopless romantic. I rolled over and threw on some clothes and walked out into the bus' kitchen. The clock on my phone said it was 8 o'clock in the morning. All of Broken Frames was still sleeping, enjoying their night off and rightfully so. I searched for cereal or even pop tarts. Nope. Not one thing. All they had was a hell of a lot of juice, chocolate milk, half and half, pudding, iced tea, tortilla flat bread, peanut butter, and jelly. I finally decided I'd become creative in my time of desperately needing sustanince. There was a microwave and suddenly, a rather odd idea came into my head. Tortilla flat bread is LIKE bread...right? So, theroetically, I could have peanut butter and jelly. I could maybe even warm it up a little bit. It sounded gross, it really did, but I was desperately hungry. So I did it, I slapped some peanut butter and jelly on the tortilla thing and warmed it up for 10 seconds in the microwave. I rolled it up, not wanting to drip it everywhere and closed my eyes, shoving a small bite my mouth. I can honestly say it was one of my best inventions yet. It was SO good. It was literally remarkable. I saw Alison stumble into the room, wiping the sleep sand out of her eyes. She had brushed her hair and changed back into her pajamas. She looked at me blankly and asked the simplest of questions but it required the complicated answer.

"What are you eating?" She asked in her sleepy voice, dumbfounded.

"Uh-" I chuckled. "Well-"

"Wait, wait. Maybe I don't wanna know." My love held up her hand and ducked her head into the fridge. She pulled out a yogert.

"WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?" I whined, louded than I wanted to.

"You really aren't smart when you're sleepy." She shook her head with a laugh, her voice still groggy from her recent awakening.

"Well...well....I don't care! This is GREAT!" I said softer than before.

"Is that so?" She teased me, getting a spoon and shoving a spoonful of food in her mouth.

"Yeah." I didn't sound convincing. She laughed and kissed my cheek on the way to her seat across from me.


Alison and I were on the roof of the bus with 50 of her fans in front of us.

"Ok guys." Alison smiled. Everyone quietted down. "As you know, today is totally acoustic. So, in honor of this lovely tour and the Meet The Family tour coming up for people in New Jersey and California I thought I'd play you songs that meant a lot to me. Most of them aren't mine, though my songs do mean a great deal to me. Some of them are mine aswell, not to worry." The crowd cheered. "Oh, and this is Andy. Say hi, Andy."

I laughed. "Hi!" I smiled. All the girl smiled. I laughed again.

"So, we're going to start out with a song that pretty much describes the night that I attempted suicide. Which, by the way, you should never do. I love each and everyone of you and you need to remeber that love can be found anywhere. Your best friends are there in your life for a reason, and it's to keep you around." I kissed Alison's cheek as she continued to speak. "So thank them."

"Here's The Last Night by Skillet." I said to the crowd for Alison. Alison starting playing the guitar and I sang the first two lines.

"You come to me with scars on your wrist. You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this."

"Just came to say goodbye. I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine.

"But I know it's a lie." We sang together.

"This is the last night you'll spend alone. Look me in the eyes so I know you know. I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone, I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go. I'm everything you need me to be." I put my hand on Alison's back, feeling my chest tighten, remebering that night more than a year ago.

"Your parents say everything is your fault. But they don't know you like I know you they don't know you at all." I was sure Ali'd have tears in her eyes soon.

"I'm so sick of when they say, 'It's just a phase, you'll be ok you're fine.' But I know it's a lie." My girlfriend sang to the crowd, I saw a few of them with tears in their eyes as well.

"This is the last night you'll spend alone. Look me in the eyes so I know you know. I'm everywhere you want me to be. The last night you'll spend alone, I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go. I'm everything you need me to be. The last night away from me!" I sang out.
"The night is so long when everything's wrong." Ali sang only a breath after me.

"If you give me your hand I will help you hold on. Tonight. Tonight." I held out the note.

"I won't let you say goodbye, I'll be your reason why. The last night away from me.
Away from me." The song ended and I looked at Ali. She hadn't cried but I saw a little tear in her eye.

"I love you, baby." I said, not caring if the fans heard. She put her hand on my neck and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"My saviour." She whispered and I couldn't do anything but smile. The fans cheered and I saw Ali look them over.

"Why you cryin' guys?" She asked taking a deep breath, preventing herself from doing the same. "That's always a tough song to even listen to. I swear to god, it truely describes that night. Andy literally held me in his arms so tight. I was weak too, but I remeber screaming at him. I literally could have be screaming bloody murder, just to have him let me go. He refused." She looked down at the fans.

"Good boy!" A group of the fans yelled out.

"We love you, Ali!" Another group yelled.

"I love you more!" Ali made a heart with her hands.

Bleeding Out: Chapter 26: Christmas Eve

(*Alison's POINT OF VIEW*)

~I miss you, baby!~ Andy sent me a text late that night.

~It's 10 o'clock and I'll continue to miss you with every passing hour.~ I replied, laying awake in my bed.

~So if you had to have anything for Christmas, what would it be?~ I could almost hear the smile in his voice when he typed it.

~You.~ I texted back, simply. Suddenly, there was a tap on the window of the bus. I looked around and saw no one. Then, out of the blue, there was another tap.

"Hey Ali!" Nixon called.

"Yeah?" I got up from my bed, pulling on one of Andy's thermals I stole from him before I left home. I tugged on sweatpants that I got from North Carolina years ago and ran a hand through my hair. I was getting somewhat tired.

"I think Santa's here!" Nixon called again. Jayden started giggling uncontrolably, causing Skye to put a hand over her mouth as she tried to hide herself in him.

"Oh my god." Mason chuckled with a smile. We had gotten close over the course of the tour, Mason was widely accepted and loved already. Nixon put his arm around Mason and squeezed his neck with his hand affectionately. Nixon had opened the door and I finally saw him. He turned around and met my gaze, shocked that he was even standing there.

"Hey, stranger! I'm a little lost, you think you could take me in for the night? It's pretty cold!" Andy smiled at me. I ran towards him and jumped on him. He caught me and kissed my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and legs around his waist. I cling to him.

"I missed you, I missed you, I missed you! Jesus christ! I missed you SO bad!" I rambled. Andy laughed.

"I missed you too, baby." He smiled. He ran his hand up and down my back, warming me up. It's funny how spoiled I was. Normally, Lousiana is hot but not for Californians. "Is that my shirt?" Andy laughed.

"Maybe." I touched the tip of my nose to his. He gave me an eskimo kiss and then kissed the tip of my nose.

"That's so cute." I heard Jayden whisper, not meaning for us to hear. Andy and I laughed.


"I seriously can't believe your here." I poked Andy in the ribs.

"Ow!" He complained, jokingly. "Kiss it better." I laughed. I ran my hand over his bare chest. Andy was laying down while I was propped up on my elbow. I kissed his ribs, his chest, his neck and his jaw. Andy has the pillows on the floor so he was laying down flat on his back. I ran my hand over where my name was forever on his arm.

"You like it?" He asked. He also pointed to his new Mickey Mouse tattoo.

"It's making my heart all fuzzy, if you must know." I replied and he chuckled. A long pause came over us.

"You know...the guys and Jayden are out on their walk. And, they're normally gone for an hour." I said softly to Andy. He leaned up, interested.

"Oh yeah?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"Mhm." I hummed, wrapping an arm around his neck and his right arm. Andy got to his knees and I did the same, still holding him the way I was. Andy tilted my head up and connected his lips to mine, softly putting his hands on my back.

"Well, I mean, if we have time.." Andy's voice trailed off, kissing my neck.

"We have time." I assured him, chest tightening. I was blissfully anticipating his every move. My skin was on fire and yet he was as cold as ice. His every touch was lighter than air, leading me to want him more and more every time his fingertips brushed my body. Andy grabbed the bottom of my shirt and gently got it off of me, throwing it softly onto the floor. He kissed me from my stomach to the outline of the rose I had on my collarbone.

"That rose is so sexy." He mumbled in between the multiple kisses on my neck. I groaned jokingly and I felt him smile.

"You suck." I told him, voice low. I flew his laugh blow onto my skin. I brought his lips up to mine just after taking his shirt off. Andy wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me pressed against him, us both on our sides. His bare chest pressed into mine. I still had my bra on, he was undenyably slow this evening. I didn't mind though, I think it made me feel like he actually cared about me and not rushing to get in my pants. Well, I already knew he cared about to me, I don't mean to make it sound like I didn't know. But, I don't know, it just made my heart beat fast and yet it felt all warm and fuzzy too. Andy kissed my lips deeply, it was the only somewhat rough thing he did. He held me closer by my waist, arms wrapped around it. My hands flew to his hair, softly tugging at the ends. It gave him the same affect as him kissing my neck; bliss. I finally unbottoned Andy's pants, and that was it. I didn't pull then down or anything. We had already kicked off our shoes before even entering the bedroom so we really just had a few more items to remove. I didn't feel the need to rush, my band was slow as hell. I broke the kiss just to kiss my boyfriend's neck. I kissed him from the end of his neck to his jaw. Andy put his hands on both of my cheeks and I put mine around his waist with him just holding me there. He starred into my eyes for a few, comfortable moments.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered, almost as if he didn't mean to tell me. I gave him a soft smile and he caressed my cheek with the pad of his thumb, moving his other hand to my neck.

"Tell me again how I ended up with someone like you." I cuddled into his touch.

"We just got lucky, my love." He kissed my cheek, not removing his hands from their positions. Finally Andy pulled down my pajama pants and I hooked my fingers in his belt loops. I had just gotten lucky to have such a man as he.

Bleeding Out: Chapter 25: Ink
(*Andy's POINT OF VIEW*)

The sky weapt for me. The sky weapt for a week, washing everyone out, trying to wash her sorrows out to sea. One week down, three to go until my love came home. It wasn't so bad though, because I knew this time she'd definately return home. I also got the cutest texts throughout my day. She sent me pictures left and right and captions like "thinking of you..<3". Honestly, it made my heart skip beats. My indescribeable love for her was frustrating, knowing I could never really tell her, in words, how much I loved her. There were no words. Not even made up words could probably fill the slot. Alison got some tattoos while she was away though. She now had a red rose on her left wrist (the only filled in tattoo) with the thorny stem merging with the snake wrapped around her left arm, not touching her shoulder, "I'm strong from what they made me" from Black Veil Brides' song "Youth and Whiskey" written very small wrapping around her right wrist. I was currently skypeing with her. I had just gotten done with dinner and she was just heading to bed. I was ready to go out and get a Mickey Mouse tattoo and "Alison" on my arm.
"I hate this. I'm not even tired and I have to go to bed. Do you realise what I'm doing right now? Pigging out. I'm hungrey. It's dinner time!" She complained. I chuckled and nodded my head, knowing nothing I could say would comfort her. "How's Vikas?"
"He's actually really sad." I chuckled again.
"Awh." She gave a soft laugh as well. "Well, tell him I'm not too happy either, will you?"
"Surely." I bowed my head sightly.
"You know, I don't even know when Game of Thrones comes on? I've only been out of the east coast for year and yet I've forgotten everything that I needed to know besides the fact that I know exactly how far our Starbucks is away from any location."
"That's unhealthy."
"I need rehabilitation facilites for Starbucks addicts."
"You do." I replied, jokingly.
"So what are you doing for christmas?" Ali asked.
"I'm thinking about going to my parents." I lied. I ordered a plane ticket to Lousiana the day before, knowing that's where Broken Frames would be for Christmas. Alison and I already agreed not to get each other anything this year since we both thought we wouldn't be seeing each other. But I still planned to get her flowers. Ali stuck her lips out in a pout.
"You don't know how bad I wanna be there right now, with you. Or your parents. I miss them. Like, really bad." She rested her chin on her elevated hands, elbows resting on the desk.
"I know." I said sympathetically. "So how's the fans?"
"Wonderful!" She smiled. "I missed them, I really did. You know, they still sing for you? And I wrote a few new songs. I'm thinking about playing a late night acoustic, private-y-ish type show on Christmas since we have off. So if I have an acoustic thing at like nine o'clock, when it gets dark, I think it'd be really awesome."
"That does sound like a lot of fun." I smiled.
"Yeah." We lapsed into a comfortable silence. I saw my love yawn and I knew it was my time to reluctantly tell her to go to bed.
"Well, I'm going to let you go." I sighed. "I love you."
"I love you more, darling."
"Night, baby." I saw her give me the cutest sleepy smile.
"Don't let the bed bugs bite." She yawned again, reaching to press the red button to hang up.
"Wait--we have bed bugs?" I asked, almost yelling.
"No!" She laughed. I knew that would get her to laugh. "No, of course not you twit. Go to sleep, maybe you need a nap." She teased.
"Oh, go to bed you." I poked the webcame, cyber-poking her.
"Don't cyber-poke me!" She laughed.
"Bye, Minnie." I laughed.
"Bye Mickey." She blew me a kiss and ended the call.  
"So how's our Ali?" Matt asked from the couch.
"Better, sad that she's away but better." I replied with a smile, sitting down next to him.
"Good I'm glad."
"She got three new outlines for tattoos, though. They look sick."
"Awesome." Matt smiled.
"Yeah, but speaking of tattoos I gotta head over to Sunset right now." I got up and ran a hand through my hair. It had been so long since I got a tattoo.


"You sure you want another tattoo confessing your love for a girl?" My usual tattoo artisit, Rob, asked.
"Yes." I sat down in the chair, looking at his sketch of the basic face-less mickey mouse. Just the three circles filled in with black, almost like the olympics symbol.
"And you also want her name on your arm?" He asked.
"Yes." I crossed my ankels over each other.
"Are you sure? I mean..Andy...this is permant. And, as you can see from all your other tattoos for Scout and Juliet, particularly Juliet, tattoos stay while girlfriends don't. I just don't want you to-"
"Rob, I swear to god I'm going to marry her." I was shocked I said that aloud.
"Yeah?" Rob smiled. "Little Andy's growin' up."
"I I said that." I felt my face get hot.
Rob chuckled. "No need to worry, boy. We're men here. We can keep a secret."
"Yeah. I just...I'm so right though. I totally wanna marry Alison." I laughed, shaking my head.
"Good for you, Andy. She's very lucky, but hold still so I can get this damn mouse near your elbow." I got it in the same exact spot as Ali's Minnie Mouse bow. I knew she was going to love that.
"And you gotta get her name on my arm." I reminded him.
"Yeah, that to. Damn, are you sure you want something as...well-"
"Don't worry about it." I growled.
"Whatever you say, man." He clucked his toungue and brought the machiene dowon my skin.

Bleeding Out: Chapter 24: I Want You With Me

(*Alison's POINT OF VIEW*)
(Ali's outfit:

Only a week after Thanksgiving, Broken Frames was to assemble onto the tour bus they only departed with less than two months ago. I was walking around the apartment, saying goodbye silently to the walls of my sane, clean life. All I could think of was: The last time I was on tour I went insane. I never imagened that I thought I would have this kind of happiness in my life. I stood in the middle of our octagonal shaped apartment, watching Vikas sleep. He had no clue I'd be leaving him for a month. More importantly, I'd be leaving the love of my life for thirty-one days. I had to survive 744 hours without him. I kept asking myself why December? Why Andy and I's One Year Aniversery? Why Christmas? I missed Amy and Brock, damn it!  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Andy approach me, putting his arms around my waist. I leaned the back of my head on his shoulder, looking up at his oceanic eyes. I never knew how much I'd miss them.
"This isn't fair." I turned over in his arms, planting sad, longing kisses all over any of his exposed skin.
"I know." His voice was hushed, trying to soothe my pain. I could feel my heart stab itself in the chest.
"Why can't I stay home?" I whispered my whining against his skin. He put his finger under my chin, causing me to look up at him. I honestly thought tears would fill my eyes.
"You have to go rock your career." Andy understood I had to leave. I understood he couldn't come with me. I didn't understand why I had to leave so soon.
"It's nothing without you." My chest broke into pieces.
"I'm nothing without you, my love. But you are something special. So is your career. I'll still be with you, just not in the flesh. Phone calls, skype, damn...I'll even get an iphone just to facetime you. I'll text you every second of every day." My boyfriend put his hand on the back of my neck. I tried to hide myself in his chest. I starred at the forsaken clock telling me it was seven-fourty in the morning, telling me it was time to go. All I could think was no.
"Vikas." I whispered, getting onto my knees. "Vikas." Slowly, the sleepy Husky walked over to me. It was as if he could feel my sadness. He put his head in between my arm and armpit. "Sit." He sat in front of me. "I love you, Vi. Be good for Andy and Matt, ok?" I whispered to him. Vikas just cuddled further into me. "I love you so so much, Vi." I kissed his snout and got up. Andy grabbed my bags from the bedroom and carried them to the car. He put them away in the trunk and drove me to the tour bus. I saw the bus and the rest of the band, saying goodbye to their loved ones. Well, except for Skye and Jayden...they'd be together the whole time. I suddenly got very faintly jealous. Why was it that I had to leave MY loved one? Andy got out of the car, while I sat in the car pulling at my batman hobo-type bag that Andy bought me as a please-be-happy--please-don't-be-sad-you're-going-away-because-I'm-dying-on-the-inside present. He loaded them into the bus and then knocked on the passenger's side window of the car. I rolled down the window, trying to wipe the frown off my face.
"You are much to beautiful to do anything but smile, my lady." His eyes pleaded with me, much like I'm sure mine were pleading with him.
"I don't know what I was thinking when I thought I could actually be a singer and be away from you." I confessed, looking at his lips, being to scared to look him in the eye.
"You were thinking," He opened the car door and helped me out. "that you would be happy doing this for your job. You get paid to have fun. But everything has a price and this is it." He pulled me into his arms again, whispering into my hair. "And you're amazing at what you do, so you have to go."
"Why aren't begging me to stay?" I asked softly, whining almost.
"Because if I do, you'd stay. And as much as I'm going to miss you, as much as I have dreaded this day, you have to go. You're going to have so much fun, Ali. You're going to fall even more in love with everything--the band, the music, the fans, oh and the places you'll go. You'll be right next to Black Veil Brides' signed guitar in the Hard Rock Cafes." This was why Andy was the better half of me, he was the voice of reason and ressurance. He was love.  
"Can we be right next to Motley Crue?" I asked.
Andy chuckled. "Yes." With that, he took my hand, and lead me toward Broken Frames.
"Mason." I greeted our new bassist, Mason Shurr.
"Ali." He smiled and I gave him a hug, reluctantly letting go of Andy.
"Hi." I heard Jayden greet Andy.
"Oh why hello, stranger. I haven't seen you in..." Andy hugged her.
"Forever." Jayden replied as I pulled away from Mason. And as my boyfriend and I greeted Skye and Nixon I couldn't help but think how happy I was Devin wasn't with us anymore. Finally, Broken Frames loaded onto the bus and I said goodbye to Andy.
"I love you." He touched the tip of his nose on mine.
"I love you more." I breathed in his sent for the last time for a while.
"Skype me?" Andy ran a hand through my hair. I knotted my hands' in his hair.
"Always." I replied.
"You'll be ok." He assured me, without me even having to vocalise what I was feeling.
"This sucks." I sighed.
"It does." He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand while I ran my hand over the length of his jaw. I finally kissed his lips and he kissed me lightly at first. I deepend the kiss and Andy pulled me closer by the belt loopes. He wrapped his arms around my butt and I wrapped my arms around his chest. His mouth molded to mine as his finger tips lightly brushd against my jaw. I ran my hands over his back and down his chest as he moved his hands to my hips. We both desperately tried to take as much of each other in. Finally, I put my hand over his heart, not even needing to open my eyes to know every curve, every part of his body. I could feel his heartbeat, knowing that I'd miss it. It was the only sound that lulled me to sleep. Andy pulled away a minute later, out of breath but he covered it well.
"Parting is such sweet sorrow." He mummured against my lips.

Bleeding Out: Broken Frames' New Bassist: Just Mindless Info
So, basically, Devin's replacement: ain't he sexy?

Bleeding Out: Chapter 23: Thanksgiving

(*Andy's POINT OF VIEW*)
(Alison's outfit:

It was wierd to think that on Thanksgiving last year Ali had only been with living with Matt and I for three months. It was wierd to think that she was just almost raped by Roscoe by then. I wasn't fond of thinking of Roscoe either. I sat on the couch, waiting for Ali to finish getting ready. I was wearing a white button down shirt, black jeans and black shoes.


AndyBVB: Can't wait to wear a fancy jacket! This will be the best. Thanksgiving. Ever. Now where is my girlfriend..?


Ali merged from the bathroom, looking down at her ipod. She always listened to music while getting ready. It often made me happy to hear her singing along with the songs while getting ready. It made me know just how happy she was. She put down her ipod but still softly sang the song, swiftly moving around the room.
"Whatcha lookin' for?" I asked, almost sad to hear her stop singing to answer me.
"Black shoes." She hummed. She continued singing a song I didn't recongise. I tried to get a glance at her but she wouldn't let me see her just yet. Her dress was pretty from what I could see, though.
"Can I help?" I asked but she beat me to it. She plopped down on the floor, tugged on her shoes and stood up. I examined her for a minute, taking in every aspect of her. Her blue eyes, the darkness of her glossy now-wavy black hair, how long her legs were, the way her hips gave her a figure no one else could match.
"What, do I look bad?" Alison asked.
"No, you look beautiful."


"Sammi, this is the second year in a row you've had enough food to feed an army." Jinxx called to his wife. Jinxx cut me off before I could ask "And yes-our army."
"Must. Resist. Urge. To. Take. Picture." CC struggled to keep his phone in his pocket. We laughed.
"Bring me some wine, will you?" Ali called.
"Alison-" Jinxx scolded.
"No, she's 19. I'm pretty sure she can start having a little glass. I've been drinking since I was 19 too." I cut him off.
"Yeah!" Sammi teased Jinxx, setting a very small glass of red wine in front of Alison. Sammi was drinking red but the boys and I were drinking Whiskey and Coke.
"So, what are we thankful for this year?" I asked.
"Women." Ashley nodded. Black Veil Brides starred at him. "Oh-uh-and the band. And my job. And my health. And my friends. And my little friend."
"Can we not refer to penises at Thanksgiving dinner?" Sammi scolded him while the boys and I laughed.
"Sorry!" Ashley and CC chimed in.
"Well now I don't know what I'm thankful for." CC teased. Sammi glarred at him. "Kidding, kidding. I'm thankful all of you and our job. Oh, yeah and the food." 
"I'm thankful for pizza, you guys, that my gutiar skills are better than Jinxx's." Jake teased Jinxx. Jinxx just shook his head and gave him a laugh that was surely mocking.  "And the lovely Ella Cole."
"I'm thankful for the food, my wife, you guys and the job. Oh, yeah and that Jake really isn't a better guitarist than me." Jinxx looked at Jake. "I love you, buddy." He said, letting us know he was just kidding.
"And you, Sammi?" I asked.
"I'm thankful for you guys, the fact that I can call Jinxx my husband, my job and my band." Sammi smiled. "Ms. Ali I believe that leaves you."
"What about Andy?" Ali asked. I sneekily and softly kicked her foot under the table.
"Andy's not thankful for anything." Sammi teased.
"F U! I so am!" I laughed. "I'll show you." I narrowed my eyes at her jokingly. "I'm thankful for the sun, the earth, the moon, the stars, the grass, tour, the band, the intruments, my throat, Vikas, dogs in general, cats, espically orange cats, literature, my parents, my beautiful girlfriend, Batman and my health. Oh, and our appartment." I rattled off a list.
"Good for you." Ali said. "My turn. I'm thankful for the wonderful boyfriend beside me, you guys, being here and not in the UK, my band, Vikas, my throat as well, Andy's parents and the appartment. Oh, oh and Matt. Don't forget Matt." She smiled.
"Can we eat now?" Jake, CC and Ashley begged.
"No." Sammi replied.
"What?" CC almost yelled.
"Why not?" Ashley looked like he would cry.
"Please?" Jake tried.
"Now you can." Sammi smiled.
"Thank you!" They exasperated.


"Hey babe, can I have a sip?" Ali asked me, when Ashley poured his third Whiskey. I was still on my second.
"Yeah, sure. One sip though. It's strong stuff. As you can see from Ashley." I laughed. She used the hand that was holding mine to bring my drink to her lips.
"Not as terrible as the red wine. Who the hell made that stuff?" She put it down next to my hand.
"Google it." Jake shrugged.
"Snarl." Ali stuck her lip up at him.
"Love you!" Jake smiled.
"Mhm." Ali and Sammi hummed, unconvinced.
"Hey, guys you know what we should do?" Ashley asked.
"What?" Jinxx asked, he was drunk too. But he wasn't hammered like Ash.
"We should go skinny dipping."
"Hi, I don't want to show you my female genitlia." Sammi said and Ali laughed.
"I fear you'd be raped." Jake teased.
"Yeah...see...Thanksgiving or being raped? Hm. Thanksgiving." Ali laughed.
"You wouldn't pick being raped?" I asked, suprised.
"Nah, not today. Ask me tomorrow." She shook her head.
"It's not rape if you like it." I laughed as she leaned her head on my shoulder.
"Shut up." She kissed my hand. Jinxx got up and looked at us, signaling us to help him clean up the mess Sammi had made in order to prepare this meal.
"Fine, fine!" Black Veil Brides grumbled and went to join the guitarist.
"I love this part of the holiday." Sammi smiled.
"Me too." Ali let me go.
"Yeah, quiet you. You should be helping." I put my face in front of my girlfriend's.
"Oh yeah?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Yeah." I smiled.
"Make me." She put her face closer to mine, lips an inch away from mine.
"You asked for it." I slipped my arm under her legs and under her arms. I slung her over my shoulder and she kicked her legs.
"Andy Biersack, put me down! Now!" She said sternly. Sammi watched us from the dinning room, laughing. I knew the boys would be making kissy faces at each other mocking us.
O-o. you used my last name! I'm so scared!" I teased her.
"Andy!" She laughed. I got her off my shoulder but still held her in front of me, in the archway between the kitchen and dinning room. She hooked her arms around my neck and legs around my lower back. She rested her butt on my interlocked arms.
"I love you, Minnie." I told her. She arranged arm to hook around my neck, her hand caressing my cheek.
"I love you more, Mickey." I starred into her eyes, wishing I could forever.

Bleeding Out: Chapter 22: Kidnapped

(*Alison's POINT OF VIEW*)  
(Alison's outfit:
Just as Andy left for Jinxx's house I showered and lounged around in my robe. I caught Andy just before he left. "Bye Vikas!" He called.
"Bye." I gave him a peck on the lips in passing.
"Bye, beautiful." He smiled, squeezed my hand and walked out. I looked in the mirror at what he called "beautiful". Apparently, beautiful to my boyfriend was me with my hair up in a big bun, wearing a short black robe and no make up. What a crazy man. I sat down to watch tv while Matt submerged from his room.
"Wanna watch tv?" I asked.
"Ok." Matt chuckled. Matt proped his legs on me and I laughed. Vikas jumped on top of Matt's stomach.
"Ew, I don't know where you've been. When's the last time you showered?" I teased him, trying to get his legs off me. I picked up one leg in my hand. "God, you're fat."
"Rude!" He crossed his arms over Vikas and I set his leg down.
"You love me." I teased.
"Sure. Bitch." He muttered.
"That's Ms. Bitch to you." That caused us both to chuckle. Just as the show ended, there was a knock on the door, causing Vikas to go crazy.

"Go get the door." Matt whispered.
"Why?" I whispered back. The knock came again, Vikas hopped off of Matt and barked at the door.
"'Cuz I'm halfway asleep." He mumbled.
"Matt, I'm trapped under your legs, go get the door." I strained to hit his arm.
"Fine." He grumbled. He slowly got up and answered the door.
"Oh hi!" Matt's face light up, Vikas jumping around him.
"Why hello." Sammi said happily. Sammi came walking in with Vikas taking turns jumping around her and Matt's legs. "Alison Mercer!" 
"Sammi Doll!" I grumbled.
"I'm kidnapping you! Get dressed, you're going to a photoshoot with me." She smiled.
"What? Again? Come on." I groaned, teasing her.
"I shall be doing your hair, and make up if I'm feeling nice." She comtimplated. There was a pause. "Now go."
I laughed and went into my bedroom. I pulled on a "pray for france" white tank top, ripped demin short shorts, black pantyhose and a cropped black suit-looking-light coat. I tucked my BVB Army necklace in my shirt and put on a black skull bracelet on. I pulled on some black boots that went up to my kneecap from Hot Topic. I walked out of my room and draped my coat over the kitchen chair, knowing I had to blow dry my hair. I went into the bathroom, blow dryed my hair and brought Sammi my straightener. She was watching Game of Thrones with Matt.
"Don't you just hate Joffrey?" She asked.
"Oh my god, yes. He's an asshole." I grumbled as she straigtened my hair.
"I heard he dies by someone poisoning him." She made me sit on the floor in front of her.
"I want him to be burned alive." I said nonchalantly.
"Me too." She whispered in my ear with a smile. Sammi ended up straightening my hair to perfection and putting it in a waterfall braid. She was also feeling nice so she did my make up, putting on black eyeliner, mascara and making it smudge to look like I had a little wing on the side of my eyes. She was a make up and hair god, just saying.
"Bye Matt." I ruffled his hair as I walked by.
"Bye Matt." Sammi hugged his neck, as he remained sitting down.
"Bye!" He called as we walked out the door.
"Bye, Vi!" I called to Vikas who curled up next to Matt.


The photoshoot was fun. Turns out I was allowed to be a model for a day. I liked it a lot and even thought about doing it again when Vanessa offered. Vanessa was the creator of Sugarfix. I loved the line, too. Sammi ended up taking me to lunch at Friday's.
"You know, you need more clothes." She said finally after fighting me for the bill.
"Oh do I, now?" I laughed.
"Yes, you do. You, my dear, are not prepared for a Californian winter."
"Well what if I go to my husband's parent's house all winter?" I asked.
"You mean boyfriend's?" She chuckled.
"Oh! Uh-yeah. Wow." I giggled with a smile.
"What would you do if he was your husband?" She asked.
"What do you mean 'what would I do'? I'd do the same I do right now, love him to death. I'd just also be bearing his children. Which, I would not mind. I'm telling you...they'd probably be the luckiest children on Earth." I leaned back on the booth.
"Awh." She gave me a doopy smile.
"Shut up, I'm being totally honest." I kicked her leg playfully under the table.
"I know!" She said as she gave the waitor the check.
"Ok, so you wanna go shopping?" I asked after rolling my eyes at her.
"Yes!" She smiled.


"Sammi, we've been at this for three hours...I think we're good." I panted, carrying my five shopping bags. I went to Hot Topic, White House and Black Market, Express, Zumiez (because I begged Sammi), Nordstrums, ROSS, and a bunch of other stores I didn't even know the names of. It's not like Sammi was Mrs. Moneybags either, she went through all these stores because she wasn't the one shopping. I, on the other hand, had a little more money than Sammi, not much. I was pretty sure if I didn't make an album soon or go on tour...she's put me in the poor house.
"Just one more store." She swore.
"You promised me that five stores ago." Thankfully, I didn't buy stuff from every store we'd been in. I only got a pair of floral lace gloves (I wanted some for tour and Andy would be pissed if I took them from him while he was on tour too) and a black scarf with white skulls from Hot Topic, one dress from Zumiez, a black casmire long sleaved shirt and a white, grey and black plaid scarf from White House and Black Market and two cute graphic tee's from ROSS.
"Well, this time I mean it." Sammi shrugged, grabbing my wrist and pulling me into H & M. I browsed around a little bit, not really intrested in anything until Sammi practically screamed my name.
"What?" I hissed, embarassed that everyone was looking at us.
"Look at this!" She held up a red dress with lace layered underneath it, barely sticking out. It was really cute but I had no idea when or what I'd wear it with.
"Cute." I smiled.
"I know!" She beamed.
"But when would I wear it?" I asked.
"Uhm, uhm, uhm." She hummed, bouncing on one leg. "Thanksgiving. Or uh-uhmmm, Christmas."
"And what shoes would I wear that with?"
"Black or red shoes...maybe stilettos." Sammi thought aloud.
"You're a genius." My mouth hung open. She grabbed two bing bangles, red and black and nodded.
"I know." She said as she brought them to the register. I swipped my credit card and watched her carefully as she looked longingly at other store.
"Sammi." I put a hand on my hip, the other on the pen as I wrote my signature.


Sammi opened the door and walked inside, carrying two shopping bags from Macey's.
"What'd you buy?" Jinxx asked accousingly. "Shoes?" Jinxx didn't look happy. Sammi spent a lot of money on shoes.
"Well hello to you too, hubby." She said sarcastically. "And, No." She said a matter of factly. "I bought a skirt and a shirt and jeans and...stuff." She set down the bags next to the closet.
"Hi." I said to Ashley softly, who was retreating to the kitchen looking for food.
"Ali Bear!" He clung to me tightly. I patted his head and lower back.
"Yeah, Hi Ash, I missed you too." I strained to suck in a breath. "I-I can't breathe."
"Sorry." He said but he didn't let go. "You smell good."
"Yeah, showers can do that." I nodded and pried him off of me, squeezing his arm. I saw Jake walk over.
"I didn't wanna listen to Jinxx struggle anymore." He shrugged.
"Struggle? What is he mad? Sammi spent a hundred bucks it's whatever. She made more than that at the photoshoot today." I cocked an eyebrow.
"No, Sammi is showing him stuff and Jinxx is struggling to get out of the convorsation. He couldn't care less about skirts, shirts, more pants, and well....all he really would have cared about was bras and shit. Like any normal man. But, no, Sammi didn't get any of that therefore he is sad and uninterested." Jake replied.
"Well, in any case, Hi." I gave him a hug. He smiled as he put his arms around me.
"Hi." He chuckled.
"Now, why don't we rescue CC?" I asked.
"What about Andy?" Ashley laughed.
"Oh, he'll be fine. He can put up with talking about clothes." I laughed.


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